Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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