i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
