are you still at the devil's house?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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