How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
