I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need to calm my uterus...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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