its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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