doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
