So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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