well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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