I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
