i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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