I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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