Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You ruined the universe
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
