Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
