Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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