you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
