I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
