you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
