She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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