i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want a musical about memes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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