Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
