Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
