gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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