So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
