she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
