i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
