i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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