Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
