Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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