Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
