It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
