The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
