Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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