Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
