so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
