Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
