Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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