"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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