the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
