Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
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His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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