Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
