That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
