youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize