what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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