You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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