drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
