did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
