doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
