Whoa Z and x make the same sound
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
