he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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