i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize