I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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