They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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