I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am one with the molecules
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My vagina just clenched in fear
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
