i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize