just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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