im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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