This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
