they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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