We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
