brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize