about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize