just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
